Ranty Rantypants.

Joe the Plumber is a crock.

Even before Joe the Plumber’s story was debunked, I knew this whole thing was a Republican Shaggy Dog Tale. Why? Because I’m a small business owner, for real, and unlike Joe the Plumber… my life ain’t fiction.

Allow me to explain.

Black Phoenix does well. We produce a good product, try our best to provide strong customer service, and we have managed to stay afloat because of these things. I’m not rich, no one at Black Phoenix is, and because of what our wages are, we will benefit from Obama’s tax plan.

But let’s say, for the sake of my point, that prior to the current economic shitstorm, I came up with some show-stopping ad campaign… Snake Oil Gets You Laid, for example… and people started coming in droves… nay, hordes… to buy BPAL. Black Phoenix: the Cadillac of Perfumes. Let’s say that this surge of sales starts netting BPAL meeeeeeeeeeeeelions of dollars, and Brian, Ted, and I are suddenly Elmer J. Fudds, millionaires, each with a mansion and a yacht. And, let’s say that, God forbid, McCain is elected. With our newfound wealth, we get a little bit of a tax break. However, the scores of Black Phoenix customers who are not also Fudds do not. Do you think that the non-Fudds are going to have any money for discretionary items like perfume and room sprays when they can’t afford to keep their homes or buy fucking gas? Give the tax breaks to those who NEED it, for God’s sake. If all the middle class people out there can’t make ends meet, they’re not going to buy our products. If they can’t afford to buy our products, that McCain tax break we’d be getting doesn’t mean shit, because without sales, we’re going to lose that mansion and yacht right quick. And what fucking good will that McCain tax break have done us?

So, my point is that even if you disregard all the other sensible reasons for voting for Obama and you only think with your wallet, even the wealthiest of Fudds should realize that a vote for McCain is foolish. Who gives a shit about a tax break if your business may tank because YOU CAN’T STAY AFLOAT BECAUSE NO ONE CAN AFFORD TO BUY YOUR PRODUCT OR PAY FOR YOUR SERVICE?

The Republican spank-off of trickle-down wealth is complete and utter bullshit. It trickles *up*, you damn fools.

Don’t even get me started on McCain’s crock health plan. Again, as a small business owner, I call bullshit.

– – –

No matter how much I loathed the new McCain and feared his possible presidency, part of me pitied him. Before the primary, I did like him to a certain extent. I bought into the maverick tripe, hook, line, and sinker, and I respected the man I thought he was. During this election, he did very much seem to me to be a political Faust, selling whatever integrity he had for a shot at being better than his dad / grandpa / legacy by becoming president. I thought he was, at least in part, being railroaded by the Republican party into spouting words that were not his and becoming a person he wasn’t. I pitied him. Now I don’t. Now, whenever I think of him, I see him making those GODDAMN FINGERQUOTES, my brain hears him calling his wife a trollop and a cunt, and I see red.

I don’t know why the fingerquotes got me the way they did, but it set off alarm bells in my head like nobody’s business. No more pity for you, you misogynistic fuck.