teddy – Non Omnis Moriar

constantia — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 04:25:03 +0000

I dreamed I spoke in another’s language,
I dreamed I lived in another’s skin,
I dreamed I was my own beloved,
I dreamed I was a tiger’s kin.

I dreamed that Eden lived inside me,
And when I breathed a garden came,
I dreamed I knew all of Creation,
I dreamed I knew the Creator’s name.

I dreamed–and this dream was the finest–
That all I dreamed was real and true,
And we would live in joy forever,
You in me, and me in you.

I love you, Ted.

In the spirit of Talk Like a Pirate Day, I’m finally posting photos of my wedding.

constantia — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 19:39:02 +0000

All Hallows Eve, 2007. Caesar’s Palace, Las Vegas.

Happy Father’s Day, Teddy!

constantia — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 16:11:43 +0000

Happy Father’s Day, Ted. You are a wonderful, wonderful daddy, and a wonderful, wonderful husband. Lilith and I are blessed to have you. Thank you for always playing dress up, drinking innumerable cups of invisible tea, and laying in the dirt on command when Lilith asks you to pretend to be Lightly Drowned Prince Eric. Thank you for taking care of us when we’re sick, and hugging us when we’re blue. Thank you for always being there when we need you, and for always being patient, kind, funny, and compassionate. Thank you for everything you are and everything you do. You make your womenfolk happier than you can imagine. We love you.

constantia — Sun, 15 Apr 2012 19:05:34 +0000

Lilith doing her math exercises with dad!

During those moments when the blackness would hit me…

constantia — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 23:12:25 +0000

Ted is teaching Lilith the Time Warp. #parenting

Today.

constantia — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 00:51:02 +0000

Today I…
… played Rapunzel with my daughter. She calls me Mother Goblin, and makes me climb stretched out t-shirts in order to get onto the couch.
… did a shitload in the garden, including transplanting the tulsi and fertilizing pretty much everything.
… put a crapload of brahmi amla oil in my hair to try to repair eleven years of dreadlock damage.
… wrote two whopping sentences of my short story.
… still didn’t finish answering emails.
… got nowhere cleaning the still room.
… attempted to archive more Lilith Stories onto my blog.

The demoness is in bed, and Teddy is home from work, taking a Dad Nap on the couch. I’m heading up to the bath while the house is quiet.

Let’s see what I can get done tonight. Idle hands, and all that.

[ mirror ]

constantia — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 08:14:37 +0000

At midnight, I was kissing my husband. Cannot imagine a better way to start the year.

Happy Anniversary, Ted.

constantia — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 19:02:53 +0000

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way than this:

where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

20th Century Boy

constantia — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 16:46:51 +0000

This song will always, ALWAYS make me think of Ted. Specifically, this song will always remind me of falling in love with Ted.

Angels

constantia — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 00:14:16 +0000

This song always makes me think of Teddy. Happy birthday, husband. I love you.